3rd Watch - Sexual Behavior (Week 19)
Happy Mother's Day!
Okay…this is the last week for Sexual Behavior. I just can’t believe how fast time is moving! This has been the most popular Watch so far, and I totally get why. We all want companionship. And if we could only understand how to get past all the nonsense to get to the heart of a man, we can handle the rest of the stuff like cooking for him, catering to him and stroking that ego (they need this like air…LOL), keeping ourselves looking nice…right?
Well guess what? The course of life for both men and women has already been established. So don’t fight it; rather, embrace it and trust God all the way! Read Genesis 3:16: “….Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”
Initially reading this, I was unsettled. But through study and meditation, my heart was comforted. Men get to lead, and choose, and get on our nerves (lol)…but that doesn’t define who we are -- we must still play our position. Now that we are armed with our new, non-negotiable standards and a general idea of how men think – based our experiences with them – after the campaign we can go forth and hopefully be prosperous in love! 
Remember back in January when I asked what you thought about men? Well, blow the dust off your response and see if you feel any different after realizing that as women, we determine how men treat us. Do you feel a sense of ownership in what you think or thought about the men in your life? No worries… Thank God for our new standards!
There are no questions for this last week of the 3rd Watch. I just want to share some thoughts and words of wisdom with you. Here we go…
• As much as you desire love and sexual pleasure, you must determine whether a man’s character and faith in God are as desirable as his looks. In a marriage, most of the time you spend with your spouse will not involve sex. Remember this. His personality, temperament, and commitment to communicate must be as important as the way he makes you feel physically. So you must decide what kind of person you will love before passion takes over.
• If you try to change your behavior without adjusting your thinking, you’ll find yourself doing precisely what you want to avoid.
• Often, men wear their sexual encounters as a badge of honor. But a woman who spreads herself too thin ends up with shameful experiences and regret.
• A woman’s introduction to sex expands her heart. She would “marry” her first love in a heartbeat. A man’s introduction opens a new world of opportunity – the “chase” comes to life.
• Teach your daughters and sons to be abstinent. It’s hard to miss what you can’t measure. Once that gate is opened, it’s easy to lose control of who enters and exits.
• Don’t allow yourself to be a man’s “ol faithful.” (Meaning, he knows who to call whenever he wants sex.)
• Don’t be anxious, desperate or hasty. Be hopeful, prayerful and watchful.
• The person least interested in the relationship will dominate it. (Hmmm…)
If the mood hits you…send me a note or enter a comment here on the blog. I would love to hear about your personal journey with the campaign, or any words of wisdom you would like to share.
Next week, we’ll dig into spirituality – not religion. I’m excited!
Peace…Icen
Oh, by the way, there wasn’t enough interest in us coming together in August, so I guess I’ll have to concede on that for now. I’ll keep thinking…
Categories: Sexual Behavior
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I recently got in touch with my first love from waay back in high school. I found out that he had been divorced for three years and was a single father of two living in GA. I know this is a good man but we were kids when we dated in high school and I'm positive allot has changed in twenty years. He came on a little too heavy for me saying things like he thought he was falling in love again after the first conversation, which was flattering. He then started calling me several times a day and then I became turned off and didn't return any of his calls. It made me wonder if women also need a challenge...I think because he showed sooo much interest too soon it caused me to turn off. Maybe women have the same need for a chase that men do...However it bothered me that I've been saying that I want a good man and when one comes into my life I shun him away or maybe I'm just not as ready as I thought I was.
My biggest dilemma is I'm not sure if I want to remarry again but I would like to have sex again someday before I die.;o) How do you think Christian women who aren't sure about their marital desire should contend with the possibility of never having sex again unless they do marry. It's a question I haven't been able to answer and I don't want to get married again just to have sex.
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First let me say thank you for being real. I had a very similar situation last year with a gentlemen from my past. He was my first real boyfriend after high school. The two years we dated were full of drama; him cheating and lying...and me getting mad and given in whenever he wanted to make up. But dispite all that, I would say that he had a good heart; he was respectful of other people and was responsible in other areas of his life. He even gave me money whenever I needed it and didn't ask for it back. Twenty years later (just like your story) he found my number on the internet and called me. At first I was interested in catching up with him so I enjoyed talking to him a few times a week. But then he started calling 2 or 3 times a day, calling me baby and saying other affectionate things that made me uncomfortable. So finally, I told him that it was weird for him to refer to me in this way after 20 years. I'm a totally different person now than I was at 17. Well he must have been offended so he stopped calling. But he didn't give up... Earlier this year he made contact with me again. He's single, has two kids, but never married . Sounds like he's done well for himself and he's a deacon in church. But... I am not interested. He turned me off last year, and again this year. I think for women, we have to feel a connection moreso than a challenge or the need to "chase." Whether it's a physical attraction, being attracted to what a man stands for; being stimulated by his conversation, or even the potential we see in him - there has to be something to spark the fire for our emotions to feel authentic. So you might really be ready for a relationship, just not with him. He wants to move to fast... Probably because of his own feelings (hurt, loneliness, desparate for a companion - you never know).
I was going to write about single Christian women and the desire to have sex this week, but I decided to wait until the new Watch. I'll touch on your question next week. I had the same question myself for many years... Hold on, we'll get into it... Icen
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It's definitely a double standard and pretty ridiculous that it's accepted that men can be promiscuous and women can't. I wonder why it is acceptable for either to be.
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In this day and time, men being promiscuous is only accepted because we as women play along with whatever they want. We can stop the double standard if we really want to. But the answer is not in being promiscuous ourselves, rather it's in closing our legs if there's no commitment involved. Something to work towards don't you think?
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This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. keep up the good work.
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Thanks for your comment. Be sure to visit the blog January 3-8 to view new posts. --Icen
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I really appreciate your professional approach. These are pieces of very useful information that will be of great use for me in future. Thanks for it.
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