It's a fact that women are wired differently than men. And it's also a fact – I'm sure you will agree – that we are emotional beings, sometimes to a fault. We approach everything we do with feelings. Whether it's a situation at work, a misunderstanding with a friend, meeting a new guy, and even something as small as choosing a stylist to do our hair – we pour our emotions into everything we do.

Now don't get me wrong, I know that we are nurturers by design. We love taking care of people and trying to fix them. We just can't help ourselves. LOL  However, I'm saying that we may be killing ourselves slowly by holding on to hurt and operating in our feelings as opposed to dealing in facts. Put a pin in that... We'll tackle that next week. Back to the heart...

Last week I mentioned that anger and bitterness are symptoms, and that the underlying condition is hurt. So let's go inside our hearts to test what's really there. Remember, if you allow God to heal the hurt, the symptoms will melt away. If you did the exercise last week, it probably awakened or stirred some emotions in you. Let's press forward to see what approach you've been using to conceal that hurt for self preservation. Here's the question for this week:

1. What do you use to mask the pain? 

Some of us learned early on how to mask our feelings; mainly because we didn't know what else to do about it. When hurtful things happened or were said to me as a child, I became feisty. I could give a tongue lashing that would cut to the core. This attitude became my “tough skin,” and the way I responded to people who hurt me; even those I thought would hurt me at some point in the future. But as an a adult, my vices changed. No longer quick to slice & dice with words, I began to use other things to make myself feel better. Can you relate to this? What numbing things do you use to make yourself feel better? Is it alcohol, food, sex...hurting others? 

For some of us, the hurt may be so deeply buried, that we don't realize it's there. We're so use to being disappointed that we don't realize we might be operating in survival mode. Because we're already intimately familiar with the sting of rejection, we learn how to function and “survive” with a broken heart. But that's not healthy for us, or what God intended for our lives. If you are easily angered or find yourself bitter and negative, there might be roots that go deep that you are not conscious of. Try this:
 
2. When you pray each night, ask God to heal and mend the broken places in your heart. He already knows about them anyway. For nothing is hidden from Him. Also, pray for God to expand your capacity to love and to forgive. 

Your part: Keep forgiving! Every time someone who did you wrong comes to mind, forgive them. I know it's hard. (Trust me!) Just count it as one more weight off of your heart.

The work this week will help the heart to soften. Our hearts are not supposed to be hard and heavy. They should be pliable like clay so the Potter (God) can work with them.

Continue to read the scriptures from last week. Here's one to grow on: Proverbs 14:30.