1st Watch - Week 6 (Feb 8 - 14)
Jacque Reid asked me a question on the TJMS that a few of my friends sort of asked this past week, which is what will six months of this campaign do for women. Now, I noticed from the blog, that some of you were already on your own personal journey before the campaign. I’ve also found that others question what difference "no sex" and weekly questions can really make.
I realize that all of us may not be at the same place in our lives which ultimately determines what value we see in doing something like this. But one thing I think we can all agree upon is that things are out of control with the man-woman dynamic. And since we can’t control what men do (or even understand it), we must put the focus on taking care of ourselves (even if you personally believe that men are the problem). So in an attempt to bring us to a common place of understanding, I ask this question. If you found out today that your life will end in 5 months, would your cares and concerns remain the same?
(Probably not.) I imagine that all the meaningless stuff would be forgotten; overshadowed by making the rest of your life count. And so it is with the heart of this campaign - encouraging single women to see the value in their lives. No matter what your story is – a cycle of meaningless affairs, low self-esteem, or the need to control everyone and everything around you – I encourage you to hang in there with this journey. If you allow it, and really test what’s going on inside of you, you might be surprised at what you find when you intentionally go seeking.
Okay, since this is the last week of the 1st Watch, let’s spend the week reflecting over our good qualities and continuing to read Psalm 139. You should also take the list of not so good qualities from week 3 and decide which ones are worth working on and which ones you need to release from your life – in the name of Jesus. You won’t need them anymore.
Lastly, please take some time this week to blog your thoughts and read others. Hope to hear from you!
My testimony: Someone asked why I have been celibate for 2 years. Here’s why. My sister passed less than two years ago at 37 years-old, and I watched her die. That changed my life in an instant. God had my undivided attention. For years I struggled with wanting to please God and please myself. I didn’t want casual relationships, but that’s what most of them ended up being. Plus I didn’t know how to have a boyfriend and not engage in sex. Well, when I lost my baby sis, I realized that my life and obedience to my creator was far more precious to me than a roll in the hay. From that point, I made a decision to remain celibate until I marry again. Now, please understand that I have my moments, but
I do this not in my own strength, but through the power of Jesus Christ and the Word of God. Life is a precious gift, and it took death for me to understand the full weight of that. But now I’m free!
For conversation: How many of you know that we can’t do this thing in our own strength? We need Divine intervention. Here’s proof. How many times have you tried to change the way you deal with men, but as soon as you decided to have some standards, Mr. Fantasy man came along and everything went out the window? (Confession is good for the soul.) J If we seek God throughout this process and call on Jesus to uproot anything in us that the Heavenly Father didn’t put there, this journey will not be in vain.
Categories: Challenge Your Thoughts
Tags: black men in america Jacque Reid erotic expressions campaign take 6 take 6 blog Tom Joyner Morning Show
Your are so right Icen...this cant be done alone. Divine intervention will have to get us thru.
"Mr. Fantasy" is why I am abstaining. I met him in Detroit(I'm from Ohio)and he said all the right things and I simply fell for it. I went to Detroit and picked him up and we spent the weekend together having sex and I must say the best sex I have ever had. I thought this was it...I thought God had sent him to me..hahahaha
His cell phone was cut off and I couldn't get in contact with him and the red flags started flying. A few days passed and he showed up at my house(yes, in Ohio)without notice. My gut feelings were talking loud to me. I couldnt even have sex with him cause I just wasnt feeling how he just popped up at my house. 2 days passed and I ask when he was leaving...I guess he was offended...
Needless to say I got up the next morning and he had slept on my couch. I had a hair appt. and I told him I would be back in a couple hours. I prayed all the way back home that he would be gone...my prayers were answered...he was gone and I never heard from him again...but guess what???
A week later I found out I was pregnant by him...I was so ashamed
Before I even had a chance to think of what to do I was at the clinic terminating the pregnancy.
From that day forward I asked God to forgive me and I made the promise to myself and God if I came out of this that I will wait on God to send me what I need and not settle...since then I have been abstaining and plan on keeping it that way until God shows me otherwise...
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OMG! When I met my last Mr. Fantasy, he was everything I could have asked for (physically) in a man, and he knew exactly what to do and say. And like you, I must admit that he rocked my world! But thank God, his job sent him overseas not long after we met because I compromised my self right from the start, and I knew better. I thought God had sent him to me too. LOL Thank God we're past that now!
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I have asked several of my single facebook friends to take a look at this blog and I have had only one person respond/inquire about it. There are a lot of them who post things about God and how much they love Him, but they will not participate in this? If they truly knew God's love, then this would not be that much of a challenge. How can we say we are sacrificing something that is just WRONG anyway? It took me some time to get to this point too, so I cannot say I don't understand. I would have sex and say, "Well, he's going to be my husband, so it's OK right?" Then he would be gone.
We are having a 4-part series on Sex and Sexuality for our Bible Study at my church. The pastor has made it clear that the Bible only condones sex in marriage only. So many of us try to find ways around doing it before marriage, but it is just not RIGHT. This is why we can't be found...because if we aren't giving it to these men, there are many more who will. By the time they get to us, they will be so used up! LOL!!!
After years of giving so much of myself, I found myself sitting in my bathroom crying because my life was spinning out of control. I was trying to find love through sex and after a while, I was just using men...I had one for physical pleasure, one for emotional pleasure and one for financial pleasure...only sleeping with the one who could give me the physical pleasure. But how could I keep asking God to bless me with a godly husband if I was trying to roll them all up into one? I was trying to control what God has for me. It has not been easy to do this, but it will be so worth it. I feel so empowered now and the blessings just keep coming. If all single women kept to themselves and married women gave only to their own husbands, the world would be a much better place. I pray for all of us on this journey and those who need to be. No matter how hard it is, we can do it with God!
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I guess we all have our story, and some of us have several stories (I fall into that category). I was married to an abusive husband, divorced his crazy behind, and settled into my newfound "freedom" of single parenthood! What I did not realize was the amount of effort (and money) required to be the HOH (Head of Household!!) So...., when I began dating jokers (I mean men) again, then I only dated those men who could assist me financially. I never looked at myself as a glorified prostitute or even as a "Gold Digger", I merely justified my behavior as "doing what I had to do!" Ladies, my justification was ludicrous! If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck........ It ain't no fish! We make excuses for our own behavior/lifestyle, but it really is what it is! Anytime you can lay up with a man because you want a new pair of boots is straight pimping yourself. I never wanted to call it that, but you know what they say, "You can't have the milk for free!" I never thought about the long term detriment it would have on me, but now I am more than aware!! This awareness was not an overnight realization, but rather after a series of dead end relationships God began to open my eyes and allow me to see that my way is not His Way! I am so thankful that I began to listen to his voice, and respond to the call for obedience. This campaign is a wonderful means of growing and/or learning how important it is to recognize your worth! I give God all of the glory for favor, grace and mercy during my years of wreckless behavior.
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I'm also surprised by the number of single women who have a problem with not having sex for six months. And I'm talking about Christian women! No matter how you slice it, we shouldn't be engaging in pre-marital sex anyway, so like you said it shouldn't be a sacrifice, but more about obedience. But I also understand where they are...I've been there. Maybe something will happen in their lives before the campaign is over that will make them curious enough to check us out. I hope so.
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There is freedom in truth! Love your humor. How many times have I tried to make a duck a fish?! LOL (Too many times.) Thanks for sharing your story. This is yoke-breaking stuff... It is so important for those of us who have had experiences like yours to understand just how much God kept us through our nonsense. I cringe whenever I think of all the things that could have happened to me, but God... His grace and mercy...whew... I hope you continue to share throughout the campaign!
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