1st Watch - Week 5 (February 1 - 7)
The past week has been quite interesting. As most of you know, I was on the Tom Joyner Morning Show on Friday, Jan 29th to talk about TAKE 6. Jacque Reid interviewed me as part of her “In Her Story” segment. I must say, Jacque was great but Tom and J. Anthony gave me a hard time. Nonetheless, I was prepared for the jokes, but what I wasn’t prepared for was their insensitivity toward women. TAKE 6 is not a movement against men, but rather a movement of healing, renewal and self love for women. All I can say is yes! We must be on to something here. Maybe, before the 6 months are over, men will be humbled and realize the value we add to their lives.
Okay, enough of that. Based on the questions for last week, I know for a fact that I would have been a different person if I hadn’t been so caught up in wanting to please men who didn’t seem to care if I was happy with them or not. In the past, I was self conscious about everything: my size, my shape, how my butt looked in my pants, were my boobs too big or too small…just everything. It was too much. No matter how much other people told me that I was attractive I didn’t believe it. Mainly because someone else had planted negative seeds into my life long before, so it was easier to believe the worst than the best. But as this Watch comes to a close, we will take the next two weeks to reinforce nothing but the best about you. Because at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is what dictates how others treat you, and what you will allow.
1. If you have a negative impression of yourself, is it because of what someone else said about you, or is it something you believe about yourself?
2. Do you love yourself? How do you know?
As part of this cleansing process, as we get rid of old things, let’s replace them with an encouraging word from God. We’ll stand on this scripture for the next few weeks: Psalms 139. If you can, read it daily. God thought about you before you were born. That’s powerful, right? You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Whenever I read this I tear up. God made you just as he wanted you to be. Hang in there with the journey. After we prepare our minds in this Watch, we’ll move to work through what lies in our hearts starting February 15th.
I love reading your comments. They really encourage me. Drop me a few lines whenever you can. And don’t forget to pray about this movement and everyone taking part in the journey.
Categories: Challenge Your Thoughts
Tags: black men in america Jacque Reid erotic expressions single women campaign take 6 Tom Joyner Morning Show
Loved the scriptures tie in.
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Thank God for your courage and creativeness.
You may have started a revolution or bring out one in silence.
Men are are stronger in muscleand SOME are not stronger in mind.
We women have allow this muscle to access too much power.
The longer we shut it down the better it is. I've been celibate for approx. 4 years.
It has helped reconnect to the little girl inside, heal wounds, overcome fears, address childhood incompletes, answer th eunanswered questions and get truly connected to the universe and all the positive it offers.
We women become so conditioned, enablers without discernment we perpetuate the many ills in the world.
All women recycle resentment, pettiness, shame, negative emotions and all toxic viewpoints without knowing all the facts. However, we black women need to REALLY take another look at how others play with our emotions. Solution: Black women need to Know what makes them tick or click and remember no weapon formed against us shall prosper.
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I can tell this journey is going to be hard. My lifestyle is so busy with work, school, church and family. My health isn't as strong as I would like it to be and I just lost someone who is very dear to me. My first inclination is to call my male friend over for comfort and I know one thing would lead to another, but just for that moment my thoughts would not be on me. Yeah, I know that is wrong and I have to find the strength to maintain. I just wish I could talk to Jesus more and be still long enough to hear what He has to say.
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Thanks for your note. You make some great points. It's time for us to find ourselves, to learn who we are fully, and re-condition our minds to expect and require more of men. And I agree, the longer we shut it down, the better. It's been 2 yrs for me.
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Evelyn, this challenge wasn't meant to feel like a burden. Sounds like you have a lot going on right now in many ways. I pray that you find just a few minutes to rest in Jesus. What I mean is give your cares to him. Decide to take 10 minutes each day where you push all of your hurt and worries out of your mind and just talk to Jesus. Tell him exactly how you feel and ask him to help you. I know what you mean about wanting comfort after losing a loved one. I felt the same way about a year and a half ago when my sister passed. Two things stopped me: my kids, and the fact that I didn't have anyone on standby to call.
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I was appalled at how Tom and J. Anthony responded to this. Tom is married, so this should not even affect him. I don't know about J., but I thought men would love to be with a woman who could save herself for her husband.
Psalm 139 is my favorite! I decided to do this 6 months ago, so I truly know what you are trying to do. I feel so much better about myself. I have learned that God's love is so much better that any love that I ever thought I experienced. I pray that my godly husband whose rib was used to make me finds me and loves me in a pure way. I have never been married and I do not have any children. I do have a desire to have that. However, I have never been the one to settle for anything in my life because I feel God has something GREAT in store for me. If I want to receive that GREATNESS that was spoken on my life, then I have to live like I should have it. Nobody is perfect as far as being free from sins...we all fall short, but we can choose to live our lives without consciously sinning and using the excuse that Jesus died for them. When we know better, we should do better. The Bible speaks very strongly against sexual immorality which includes fornication and adultery.
Women are very powerful! Some of us do not know our true worth. I know that some are thinking, "WHAT?! Stop having sex for 6 months!!!" Well, if you want to inherit the kingdom of God, then that is a good place to start and continue until you are married.
I am a Labor and Delivery nurse and I see the result of this sin every day. More than half of our patients are young and not married. Some have multiple children with multiple partners and the father of the this one may or may not be around. I do not judge because that is not my place...my job is to make sure they are very well taken care of. I have a strong passion to help because I know that there has to be something psychologically wrong with those who live their lives this way (and I do not mean that in a negative judgmental way). I know that God's greatest gift is life, I see the miracle happen every day. I also see the effects of bringing life into the world in this way...causing so many social issues because we are not holding our men accountable or asking them to seek the Lord first, so that they will see us differently and respect us and love us like Christ loved the church. The Bible says that God is the head of man and man is the head of woman...therefore, they should be "like" God and taking care of us instead of asking us to sacrifice our souls for fleshly pleasure...using and abusing us.
To end this, I still have male friends who respect me for not engaging in sexual activity. They actually treat me a whole lot better than they used to. This should not be a sacrifice for anyone because it is written that it should be saved until marriage anyway. That is my plan and I pray many more start to see it that way. Let's humble the world because we have the POWER to do it!
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I love, love, love your comments. I pray that all who are on this journey will come to this place of peace that you are experiencing. Like you, I am free! My heart is lighter; I feel, see and realize God's love for me every moment of my life. Now, I'm not saying that I don't want a relationship because I do. But after one felled marriage, I am absolutely determined to do things in order next time around - God's order. Your story is inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing. Hope to chat with you more on the journey!
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As we continue on this wonderful journey of healing, self-confidence and maturity, Ladies let's please remember to bring a younger, naive young girl/woman along with us. Yes, teenage pregnancy is a constant and it pains me to see a young girl with a baby bag and baby standing at the bus stop alone, or in high school or at the mall. Now her story may be different than average but how different could it have been if her past decisions had been more about HER.
Everything that everyone is sharing is generated due to past experiences. Let's strive to give our young girls an opportunity to see themselves as beautiful creatures that God designed and created them to be and not as a tool for some boy or young man to handle for his use.
I am encouraged that this journey, this movement, this campaign will inspire, change and develop women into the powerful forces we have always knows ourselves to be.
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Jill, I totally agree with you! And, we have to lead by example. We first have to fix ourselves before we can try to fix others. We have to remember that everything in life is learned and most have watched their mothers or women who they trust and love do the same thing. I would love to reach out to the younger ladies because if I had known then what I know now, I would not have done a lot of things that I did in the past. Not quite sure how to get to them...most aren't in church and the schools only allow you to go so far with what you say to them. Maybe with this campaign going, some great ideas will emerge.
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Jill and Trendle - I hope everyone taking part in this movement will read your comments and take your suggestion to bring another young lady along; especially a young girl. It's so important for us to reach back and teach...to pass along our lessons learned and wisdom so that the destructive cycles of teen pregnancy, STDs and unhealthy relationships with men are broken forever. We have the power to do this. God has allowed this campaign for a reason. Please let me know if you have ideas of women's/youth groups I can reach out to about the campaign. Let's keep the momentum going...
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Hi Icen,
just wanted to check in and say that I am working my way through the exercises, and through this I have come to some very hard realizations about myself, and it's tough to look in the mirror some mornings, but you know, I feel lighter. I had an epiphany this morning, and after going to the bathroom and crying a little bit, I am relieved to have that burden revealed, now the test comes as to how I am going to deal with it, but with the help of these exercises, I know I will. Thank you again for doing this.
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Hi Stacy! Hang in there... I know it's difficult to face "the woman in the mirror," but once you identify and accept the truth about everything in your life, the heart does become lighter and you actually get stronger. Press on! Check back in with me soon. Be encouraged! --Icen
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Hi. Is there a reason why this page looks funny in Windows Mobile? Anyway a bit of advice, do a second writeup soon!
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Hi there... I'm not sure why you can't view this page in Windows Mobile, but please don't let that stop you from checking out all the posts I've written over the last six months -- there are 25. I hope this blog blesses your life! --Icen
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Thanks for checking out the blog. Share it with a friend...
--Icen
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We teach others how to treat us. If someone doesn't treat you the way you want to be treated, simply walk away. There's no need to continue a friendship or relationship that doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. We usually accept poor treatment because we accept the love we think we deserve.
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plz dis is an advice that see the situation ur in and then think what should be correct. if some body is underestimating u, first see what is ur relation with the person, then think whether that one is stable n is he saying for ur benefit..
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